Change is constant and progress is natural. An infant starts to walk, goes to school, blossoms at puberty, and then finally decides to leave the parents to build a family. A protégée grows under a mentor and become strong enough to fly. An apprentice learns a trade till he’s knowledgeable to start his outfit.
All these are examples of the natural cycle of life. It is not a crime to want progress, neither is it a sin to crave and demand freedom, but while we do so we should take note of the state of our heart and the ill-feelings we might cause.
Gaining freedom and granting it shouldn’t be a problem at all, but I’ve come to realize the tussle that accompanies it in this side of the world. I can as well believe it is likewise in other parts of the world too. I’ve seen employers cursed their employees because they left the business for greener pastures; bosses calumniate their apprentices because they want to start their trade; parents disallowing their children exit from under their roof and command; even pastors holding a grudge or worse with members or associate pastors for leaving their church.
Change is constant and progress is natural.
I would be a hypocrite to tell you that I wasn’t a victim of this iniquity, my experience and the recent one of a colleague actually instigated this conversation with you. Perhaps I should tell you my story, but you would need a long back story to understand it well and I wouldn’t want to bore you with my history because it’s unamusing.
Back to what I was saying before, I’m sure you had your share of the unjust act too which means you can as well relate with what I am saying. I on my part know how you felt at the time because I felt the same thing too; the anger, resentment, pride, and the rebellion we exuded. We were right to feel those emotions and even right to slander or demeanour authority because they antagonized our plight.
The quest for freedom and control over oneself and destiny isn’t a sin on its own but my concern is the means and the process of getting it.
Most of us want this personal freedom based on illusions.
You might argue that some things are best taken by force and I agree with you. However, most times our timing is always wrong. Most of us want this personal freedom based on illusions; some believe they are old enough, teenagers even; some are influenced by friends or prurience; some because of social status or social media popularity; for some, it’s acquired knowledge and exposure; and some, because they are being rebuked or corrected. Many cannot even take the discipline of an authority figure because they feel it’s uncalled for, all these are youthful exuberances as one Yoruba adage says that the foot of the youth is slippery, very slippery!
Now, I won’t dispute the fact that many of us are of good intentions, but we need to check our behaviour and timing during this passage. The preacher said that there is a time and season for everything, so it’s just a matter of time till it’s evident that you can be on your own, and even nature will oppose your lethargy for freedom then.
When mine happened, I was furious and appalled at my authority’s selfishness (as I believed it was then). Although I do not want to build my life on ruins of damaged relationship and faulty foundations, I was ready to damn all consequences and lose all then. My judgement was clouded with rage and pride and my authority wasn’t giving up easily too.
There is a time and season for everything, so it’s just a matter of time.
Thank God for the intervention of wise people, I had the opportunity to re-evaluate my judgement and see things for what they really are, the odds have always been in my favour, I just wanted more. I suddenly realized the pains I had caused when I put my feet in the shoes of my authority. I understood what it feels like to invest years of tutoring, mentoring, care, fellowship, prayers, and even the simple joy of watching your son grow with the hope that he’ll stand in your place when you’re weak, but your son decides to pay you an unworthy dividend. That’s betrayal, and my conscience couldn’t live with that.
We came to a consensus on how to make things work between the both of us, and we adjusted ourselves to our new schedule brought by change. We’re both good now.
Well, I would say congratulations to those of us who lost the battle and remained calm under tutelage and constraints. And to those who won their battle with ruins of relationship and a sour story of conquest, I believe there’s still room for amendments, you can always re-write your story.
Finally, to you my dear, currently in this dilemma I’ll leave you with the words of my friend that I paraphrased for relevance, he said, “there are some freedom you cannot handle without your conscience telling you there are consequences.”
There’s always a better alternative.